Rocky and Adrian’s first kiss
You can watch it here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1a_N71VmfQ
I think this is a masterpiece, not only of dialogue writing, which in few words, conveys the two characters’ immediate wants and long-term needs but which also teaches a deeply moral lesson. There’s conflict in the scene, (a fundamental of drama), where the characters cannot both get what they want but in the end, they both get what they need. I find the resolution heart-warming and satisfying on multiple levels.d’
The first time I learned anyone considered it controversial was in a writer’s podcast, discussing top ranked films, specifically the screenwriting. A female editor and writer told how her 15 yo old daughter had pointed out that Rocky’s persistence with Adrian is coercive and, in teen language, ‘not ok’.
Is it significant the writer and daughter are Californian? In more sensible parts of the world, don’t we adults guide the children, not the other way around?
But they’re not the only ones. If you look for it, you’ll see this idea/position repeated a lot, framed as highlighting the difference between the 1970s and modern times, the social and legal standards regarding where the line between consent and coercion is drawn. Rocky’s persistence has been described as creepy, uncomfortable, borderline assault and rapey among others. People state it is indefensible and that scene spoils the whole film for them. They point out she says no three times. Others disagree, though.
In the scene, Adrian comes back to Rocky’s apartment, but she’s conflicted about it. She then says she doesn’t feel comfortable in his apartment (or any man’s apartment) and tries to open the door to leave. Rocky stops her from leaving by moving between her and the door. But he does it gently and quietly. He isn’t raising his voice, isn’t dominating her, isn’t threatening. He knows who Adrian is, he’s attracted to her, he’s already made the effort to get to know her and ‘charm’ her in his clunky way. Somewhere, he senses she and he could be right for each other. But Rocky isn’t David Niven, he’s rough-edged, uncouth and poor with words. He gently and slowly takes off her glasses. She doesn’t protest or resist, verbally or physically. (That’s at least an amber light.) Then he slowly, tenderly, removes her woolly hat. NB cinematically speaking, removing a woman’s glasses and/or hat symbolises her moving from a guarded to an open or vulnerable, unguarded state, without using dialogue.
Then he slowly tries to kiss her but she moves her head away. This is where Rocky delivers a classic line. "I wanna kiss you," and, "You keep missing my mouth." He persists and after just the right amount of avoiding, she responds and their two hearts touch for the first time.
A woman once told me, ‘persistence not insistence’, i.e. she approved of one and not the other. In fact, she wanted the former but at the same time, did not want to be thought easy. Modern PC values have grossly inflated the importance, not of consent, but of verbal consent, as though we lived our lives in court and everything we do must be legalistically unambiguous and signed in triplicate. Now which profession does that assist, do you wonder? About the glasses and hat, one commenter states Rocky ‘starts removing items of clothing without her consent.’ He means verbal consent. Let me tell you, there will be no more babies born in Western countries if men have to ask, ‘and now may I remove your left shoe?’ Many, many women (speaking of those whose left shoes I’ve removed) would find it not only tedious but deeply unromantic if every item of clothing needed specific permission to be removed. And that’s even before the man’s hands start roaming!
I think the writer is telling the biggest picture possible of the characters. If Adrian did not accept Rocky’s persistent advances, what would be the long-term outcome for her? Rocky might have asked her out again and had a second go. Maybe. But he has rock-bottom self esteem himself. That one rejection might be enough to dissuade him. And if so, then Adrian’s life is over, preserved from that night onwards in formaldehyde. Rocky is her one chance at love. At marriage and a family. Gone. There’s no second guy waiting in the wings. She’ll be an old maid forever, forced to live with the coarse and brutal Paulie until one of them dies.
Adrian isn’t playing hard to get or shit-testing him. Some women do that. Some even have valid reasons. Such scenes have been portrayed on screen too. But Adrian is genuinely conflicted and painfully shy. She says no, and means it. But there’s more going on than just the words and Rocky reads it and pushes just enough to break through. I think it’s a tender and beautifully written and acted scene.s